Caught in the Middle

Ladies I know that it is hard to find a good man, however it is also a growing rarity for your children to be blessed with a good father.  When a man breaks up with you, it does not mean that he breaks up with his children.  Denying a man the right to be a father is one of the most selfish things that a woman can do.  Though I sympathize with your broken heart, it is unfair to use children as leverage to punish your ex-boyfriend/husband.  Unless a father is mentally, physically, and/or sexually abusive, there is no logical reason to deny him his rights if he has always played an active, positive role in his children’s lives.  Even if he cheated on you till the day that he left, remember that you chose him.  However, children do not have a choice in who their father is.  In other words, he broke up with you, not the kid(s).  So stop ignoring his calls because he doesn’t want to talk to you. STOP using the money that he gives to you for the kid(s) on your hair and nails. Mainly, stop telling him that he cannot be in his children’s lives because he doesn’t want to be with you!  HEAL your heart, dry your tears, and move on. Your children will appreciate you both if they are not placed in a tug-of-war battle over your broken heart.  LIVE, LEARN, and GROW UP!

*SN:  This message also applies to any father who is practicing these same selfish behaviors against the mother of their children.

OVEREXPOSED

   In the rap lyrics of Usher’s “Yeah,” Ludacris states that he wants “A lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed.”  In dissecting this statement,  Ludacris  was implying that he wanted a woman who knows how to act classy in public but also live up to his sexual desires behind closed doors.  It appears that this statement is describing the perfect woman in the eyes of the male species.  However, if that is the true desire of most men, then many women are failing to live up to those expectations!  Instead of being a lady in the streets, some women are acting like street-walkers. From popular social networks to popular news sites, women are exceedingly overexposing themselves.  Why does every female celebrity have to take explicit photos, wear yeast-infection clothing, and act provocatively whenever possible?  Is this not the behavior that Luda said to keep behind closed doors?  Think about it…some women are literally releasing sex tapes on purpose.  Honestly, what man wants a woman who has exploited her body for the world to see?  Sadly, teens are emulating such behavior in the form of sexually explicit picture texts.  Many young girls are more concerned about showing off their body with provocative clothing than earning good grades in school. Unfortunately, some women forgot that the true mystery to keeping a man is being the mystery!

*SN: When did showing your goodies equal to fame and fortune?  We have to do better America!

*SN: Reference to Ludacris is only in relation to the lyrics in this specific song; I’m aware that he exploits women. There will be a discussion about the rap game and the exploitation of women in the future!

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Why Are 42% Of Black Successful Women Are Sing…, posted with vodpod

Where’s the R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?

You don’t have to date me,

You don’t have to love me,

But you do have to respect me.

Black and beautiful, educated and strong, and the backbone of most African-American families; African-American women Rock!  We face obstacles that most other women cannot imagine and yet we cannot find love with our sexy brother.  However, this is not a plea for you to love us! This is a request for respect! Most African-American men were raised in a single parent home by their African-American MOTHER.  Many Black men will make love to black women and produce beautiful seeds of life.  However, when reality hits, they leave their women ringless and their children fatherless. Nonetheless, when God created the Black woman, He made us with strands of resilience and tenacity.  We strive against all odds, not only for ourselves but for our children and those women who paved the way for us!  According to Eric Johnson, “at least 60 percent of black students who get awarded college degrees are women” and “71 percent of black graduate students” are black women. So fellas, this is the deal…

·Stop speaking negatively about black women, especially to other races! The idea that all black women have “attitudes and only want child support checks” came from the black man! I rarely, if ever, hear Caucasian, Asian, Hispanic or men of a different ethnicity speak harshly about their women! Besides if you don’t value us, some other man will. So leave those false allegations and stereotypes at home!

·Take care of your children!  Be a role model and support them, not only financially but mentally!  They need their father just as much as their mother! Step up! Also, some of the single black women who are forced to live on Section 8 and food stamps because they have to be the mother and father needs to end!  Help support your kids so that as a unit, you and the mother can feed, clothe, and provide for them off of the system.

·Value the black woman’s role in society and celebrate it! We are beautiful and that fact can never be denied!

·It’s quite obvious that most black women still want a black man, so the respect for you is there!  Equally, we can do better as a race to respect each other.  We need to strive together to end the stereotypes that other races have against us.  However, if we keep putting each other down, the cycle will continue.  Regardless of whom we date or if we stay together as a family, we need to respect each other, be good parents, and build each other up.

Source: Johnson, Eric (2010). Nightline Face-Off: Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?   http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/FaceOff/nightline-black-women-single-marriage/story?id=10424979

Are YOU the Bully?

Bullies thrive on intimidating people. Their victims are usually the meek; a person who has a small network of friends or no friends at all; a person who has an obvious disability or difference that can be scrutinized; or a person who is singled out or exposed because of a bad decision, such as sending obscene photos to a boyfriend or girlfriend. All of these reasons and more are used as fuel for people to bully others. With the influx of social networks, bullies can continue to harass their victims after school hours and influence others to partake in their cruel activities. Though the act of bullying is viewed as negative, some people, especially younger persons, continue to take on the role of the Bully.

In general, there have been many outlets for victims to share stories of being bullied. However, for those who intimidate others, I welcome you to share with others why you act out in such aggressive ways? How does it make you feel? Are YOU the Bully?